NOTHING VENTURED..NOTHING GAINED!!

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  A  twisted  rule  of  life,  which  holds  100%  true  for  marriages.

BETTER  OFF  SINGLE???....NAH!!

I  sincerely  feel  married  people  are  way  better  off  than  singles  in  more  ways  than  one.  A  highly  debatable  issue,  I  know.  I  also  feel  marriage  isn’t  for  everyone.  Not  everybody’s  cuppa  tea!!.  It’s  a  trade-off.  If  you  are  not  ready  to  lose  your  independence  , marriage  is  not  for  you. If  you  are  not  ready  to  tie  yourself  down  and  be  accountable  to  another  person  besides  yourself,  marriage  is  not  for  you.  Not  yet!!

Being   single  does  have  its  pros  and  cons. It  provides  you  ample  of  space  and  freedom.  It  does  let  you  accomplish  goals  in  life  that  you  have  set  for  yourself  and  achieve  them  at  a  faster  pace.  But  all  that  achievements  will  mean  Zilch  if  you  don’t  have  that  special  someone  in  your  life  to  share  the  spoils  with.

In  most  failing  or  ailing  marriages,  most  of  the  times  the  culprit  by  default  is  communication.  We  forget  the  ground  rule.  Half  of  communication  is  listening.  You  will  be  surprised  if  you  sit  to  analyze  as  to  how  many  times  you  actually  listen  to  what  the  other  person  has  to  say.  I  did  the  analyzing  and  was  not  happy  with  wat  I  found  out.  Even  though  I  was  a  quiet,  shy-kinda  person  who  took  her  own  sweet  time  to  open up  and  hardly  had  much  to  say,  I  still  was  not  a  good  listener.  Weird  huh!!.  Nothing  much  to  say  and  not  much  of  a  listener  either. Hmmmm…..

This  actually  got  me  working  on  my  listening  skills.  My  spouse  was  the  1^st  GP  (guinea pig)…my  kids  and  my  house –help  followed…sum   amazing  discoveries  later,  I  realized  that  so  many  problems  in  life  just  melt  away  if  we  just  bother  to  listen  to  each  other.  I  went  one  step  further  and  nagged  hubby  into  honing  his  listening  skills  too,  which  in  itself  was  quiet  funny.  My  hubby  is  a  surgeon  by  profession.  His  profession  revolved around   a  lotta  ‘listening’  on a  daily  basis.  He  actually  has  to  sit  through  hours  listening  patiently  to  his  patients  grievences,  in  order  to  diagnose  their  problems  correctly  and  provide  relief  eventually.  A  strange  occurance  is  he  never  exercised  his   listening  skills  in  our  relationship.  To  this,  his  reply  is  that  he  doesn’t  consider  our  relationship  as  a  sick-patient….SWEET!!....:))

Nowadays,  just  before  we  are  about  to  embark  on  a  argument,  we  make  a  deal.  He  hears  me  out  first  and  then  I  listen  to  what  he  has  to  say.  And  after  that  the argument  just  doesn’t  make  sense  anymore.  It  works!!. Easy   eh!!...Not  always.  7  outaa  10  times  it  works.  The  remaining  3  times  things  do  get  outta  control,  but  then  what  is  a  marriage  without  its  share  of  fights  and  make-up’s.

ARRANGED  /  LOVE

Being  in  love  is  the  most  beautiful  feeling  ever.  Then  why  do  love  marriages  fall  apart  so  often??.  Why  do  love  marriages  fail  at all???

 All  our  lives  we  gals  are  told  not  to  speak  to  strangers  and  then  all  of  a  sudden  we  are  expected  to  sleep  with  one.  This  formula  is  known  as  arranged  marriage  and  it  works!!

In  love  marriages  couples  date  for  years  before  taking  the  plunge.  They  know  everything  about  each  other  that  there  is  to  know.  The  real  life  chemistry,  the  emotional  quotient,  the  physical  compatability,  the  good,  the  bad,  the  ugly…everything.  A  rock  steady  relationship  which  goes  kaput  as  soon  as  they  get  married.  So  where  does  the  love  go??  Dissipates  into  thin  air??

An  arranged  alliance  on  the  other  hand  is  very  risky,  since  there  is  no  trying  before  buying,  yet  such  alliances  make  it  thru  the  thunderstorm.  So  what  does  it  take  to  make  a  marriage  tick!!

I’ll  tell  you  what  it  takes.  It  takes  two  people  who  respect  each  other  and  who  are  ready  to  adjust  and  make  small  compromises .  A  genuine  and  sincere  effort  to  make  the  marriage  work.  It  doesn’t  matter  if  the  alliance  is  arranged  or  love.  Neither  guarantees  that  the  relationship  will  work.  What  will  guarantee ,  is  the  hardwork  you  put  in  the  initial  years  of   the relationship.  Yes,  it  is  a  lotta  hardwork, not  to  let  the  ring  on  your  finger  become  the  garrote  around  your  neck .  Just   stop  expecting  it  to  look  like  the  way  you  thought  it  would  look  like.  That’s  true  of  make-up  and  goes  for  relationships  as  well.

Me  n  H  will  be  on  the  20^th  year  of  our  marriage ,tomorrow  on.  Here’s  to  a  20  more….:)))  

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS……

People  who  profess  happiness…seldom  are  happy!!.  Its  a  fact.  We  cant  be happy  all  the  time  and  in  everything  we  do.  People  who  say  otherwise  are  either   lying  or  high  on  weed.  No  one  can  be  really  happy  all  the  time,  except  maybe  kids.  And  if  you  really  are  happy,  what’s  with  the  need  to  show  it  off  to  the  rest  of  the  world??..Why  rub  it  on  others  faces??

Happiness  they  say  is  a journey  and  not  a  destination.  That  way  if  you  don’t  like  where  you  are  headed,  all  you  have  to  do  is  change  direction.  Sometimes  we  end  up  spending  our  entire  lifetime  chasing  happiness  and  eventually  end  up  thinking  that  happiness  can  only  be  pursued  and  not  achieved. Am  I  closer  to  the  truth  here??

TIME- BOUND  HAPPINESS!!

I  love  both  my  boys  to  bits.  My  early  days  of  motherhood  with  my  first-born  were  quite  challenging.  I  had  no  way  of  explaining  to  myself  what  I  was  going  through.  Life  was  just  slipping  away  through  my  hands.  I  never  thought  I  would  be  happy  again.  In  my  very  own  pursuit  of  happiness  I  started  putting  time  limits  to  my  happiness. I  will  be  happy  once  Anku( my son) gets  over  his  speech  imparity.  Then  when  that  happened  I  decided  I’ll  be  happy  when  he  stops  needing  therapists.  Once  that  was  done,  I  decided  I’ll  be  happy  when  he  joins  a  mainstream  school…when  we  move  into  a  bigger  house  etc etc  etc.  There  was  no  end  to  it.  It’s  like  I  was  so  afraid  of  being  happy,  that  I  was  running  away  from  it  by  putting  time-bound  restrictions  on  it.  That’s  when  my  second  bundle  of  joy  arrived.  He  was  every  mothers  dream  baby.  A  healthy  happy  child  who  was  happy  and  content  with  everything  and  everyone  around  him.  My  family  was  complete…:)).  That’s  when  I  decided  I’m  gonna  be  happy  NOW!!.  No  matter  what   tomorrow  has  in  hold  for  me,  today  I  will  be  happy.  God  has  been  kind  so  far,  wudn’t  it  be  ungrateful  to  sulk  over  things  I  cannot  fathom!!

I  realized,  I  will  never  know  how  wonderful  my  today  is  if  I  let  my  fears  of  ‘how  my  tomorrow  will  be’  intimidate  and  overwhelm  me. I  have  watched  my  kids  and  learnt  from  them  to  seize  the  day  and  live  my  today  completely.  Tomorrow  can  wait

HAPPY  MARRIAGES!!!

Reality??  Or a  myth??...The  myth  of  happily  ever  after.  After  being  married  for  almost  20  years  I  can  safely  say,   it’s  a  bit  of  both.  It’s  a  myth  and  may  come  as  a  complete  shocker  to  people  who  are  in  it  for  a  free  lunch  and  who  believe  happy  marriages  are  dished  out  on  a  platter.  It’s  a  reality  for  people  who  are  ready  to  adjust  and  work  hard  to  keep  the  relationship  going.

Every  marriage  starts  with  a  huge  celebration.  Couples  enter  it with dreams  in  their  eyes.  Huge  mistake…keep  your  eyes  wide  open. Its  not  healthy  to  saddle  ones  marriage  with  unrealistic  expectations.  The  burden   will be  too much  for  a relationship  that  has just  taken  off and  is  treading  on  fragile  grounds.  Its  bound  to  bring  the  relationship  crashing  down.  Like  I  stated  in  my FB  status   a  cupla  weeks  back..”castles   in  the  air  are  allright,  till  you  try to move  into  it”...:)

Dear  Tomorrow  Do  Whatever  You  Want  To  Do....I  Have  Already  Lived  My  Today  And  I  Am  Not  Afraid  Of  You  Anymore!!

P.S...The  movie "The  Pursuit  Of  Happiness"  is  a  must  watch!!

A BODY OF PURE MUSCLES

What!!” , “you’re kidding, right?” , “Unbelievable” , “Are you for real?” , “Botox?”….these are some of the reactions I get when people discover my actual age. As you might have observed my physical appearance and my age don’t go hand-in-hand. And if you ask my hubyy , he’ll tell you that my mental age and actual age don’t match at all. He is convinced that I actually stopped growing after 16, mentally and otherwise…hehehehehe
Look 18 and behave 16 is how he likes to describe me in a nutshell…pun intended…:))

What I cant take credit for is my excellent genetic design which I got from my parents and what I have to actually work hard for is my body. A well-toned and fit body . I can proudly say that “my body is made up of pure muscles”. It’s neither god gifted nor did I acquire it overnight. It is the result of intense hard-work and a somewhat disciplined eating pattern maintained over the years.

YOUR BODY, YOUR TEMPLE
Ever heard “ your body is your temple”??. Well, start believing in it. Treat your body the way you treat your temple. Put only the best in it. Healthy food and positive thoughts would be the right things to begin with. I adore my body. I respect it and more importantly I listen to it. Give it a try. Listen to your body. It actually talks to you. It will tell you how it detests being a graveyard for junkfood. You will be shocked to hear that it hates you for mercilessly punishing it just coz you have decided to loose those extra fab overnight and look good for that cousin’s wedding next month. A well taken care of body is a gift that you will cherish in the later years of your life.


SIZE MATTERS???
Do you have to be a size zero to look good??...Hell No!!....I know quite a few woman who carry some extra fab and still manage to look stunning, simply because they are comfortable in their skin and body and don’t strive to be a la-kareena. Then again there are some who are delusional .

FATOREXIA!!!...its a disorder wherein people are overweight and deny it. It seems harmless but is actually dangerous where people are in denial about their weight being problematic to the point of causing health hazards. I personally know one such human. A neighbor. She is somewhere on the borderline of fat and obese. But she actually refers to herself as ‘slim n trim’. Talk about optical illusions!! She buys clothes in size M and gets it altered to size 2XL ( her actual size). Why….coz she wants to flatter and trick her sick ego that she wears a size M. Moreover, she even tried to convince me ( a size XS/S) that I too like her am a size M. I have only one thing to say to such people “get help before it’s too late”.

Then there are the anorexic’s!!! They are never happy with how they look. They always complain about how fat they are, even when they are not and they are always on some kind of diet. Sometimes I feel they keep calling themselves fat because they need a boost to their low self esteem of someone telling them that they are not fat. Anorexia is more than a eating disorder, it is a psychological disorder. It involves restrictive eating, excessive exercising and overuse of dieting pills.

SO WHAT WORKS!!!!
Believe it or not. What actually works is eating. Eating right, to be precise. Yup!!!...that works. I know its kinda hard to believe, but believe you have to coz this is coming out straight from the horses mouth.
I was always on the plumper side, which never seemed to bother me. I was happy with the way I looked. I never piled on even after giving birth. I never made any special efforts ‘not to pile on’. I just never did. Blame it on my metabolism. But I was not fit. I was thin…not fit. And I don’t know how many people understand this , but there is a huge difference between the two.
My tryst with YOGA just happened out of the blue, thanks to my weak knees. There was no looking back, after that. Slowly and steadily I realized the wonders of being fit. The sheer joy of having a strong body. I got into all kinds of fitness experimenting. I have never gymmed in my entire life. Then I didn’t have the time, with 2 kids to raise. Now, I don’t feel the need..:)). My fitness regime includes Yoga, weights training , circuit as well as interval training and above all what really made me fitness conscious…RUNNING. I know I mentioned weak knees earlier, But by practicing YOGA religiously I managed to make my lower body strong….strong enough to run marathons….:))

Clothes are fun when you have a toned body...:)

going traditonal!!

EATING SMART!
I emphasise again the importance of eating right. Here I would like to credit Rujuta Diwekar. Her book ‘Don’t Lose Your Mind, Lose Your Weight’ put me on the right track. It enlightened me and introduced me to the wonderful world of good food. That book is my bible. Unlike polular beliefs eating right does not mean eating boring bland food and munching on nuts. It does not. I binge. I do. I do it like once every fortnight or 10 days. I love my ‘wada-pavs’ n chocolate cakes. But then again I binge in moderation. However badly I crave for another piece of tht gateux, I stop myself. After binging I come back to my normal food intake..which would be good home cooked food…after all…We Are What We Eat!!!

A well toned body is "neighbours envy n owners pride."..:))

PROXY PARENTS

I enter the elevator of my building. I am joined by a 3 yr old toddler who stays in my building carried by his babysitter-cum-maid-cum-cook-cum-god-knows-wat-else. The kiddo playfully takes a jab at all the buttons on the panel. The maid goes “ hey harami, aisa math kar”…The kid giggles and goes “tu harami, tu harami”. I am ready to faint.

The kid belongs to a set of high profile banker parents. I mean they gave birth to him, but he is being raised by a team of hired-helps. I call them proxy parents. Proxy parents!!...Ever heard of them?? They are a fast growing breed in urban india. A breed of career-high parents. They are impatient and want everything tailor-made for them. They want convenience at the drop of a hat. They want children, coz they can show them off like trophies. They have all that money can buy for their kids, but they lack that one thing that their child needs. Its probably the only thing it needs of them. Their undivided time and attention. Too much to ask huh!! Like we know, a child cannot grow up on its own. It needs to be taken care of and guided through each day with utmost care and attention. But the proxy parents cannot be expected to do such meaningless duties now, can they?? They have more important things to cater to, more satisfying tasks to perform in the boardrooms. Some women are so desperate to get back to their jobs after giving birth that they just hire any tom, dick n harry off the streets for their kids. The kid who is at an impressionable age slowly imbibes the characteristics of his babysitter who more-often-than-not comes from the nearby slums. The outcome is what I narrated above.I personally know so many women who leave house for meager jobs just to escape the domestic life and they don’t even need the money. What I fail to understand is why have kids???....why bring them to this world if they don’t even figure in your immediate priorities.

Easy for me to say. I have never had a career, so how will I know what it feels like to take a heavy paycheck home at the end of month. I may never know that, but what I do know is the feeling of catching your bundle of joy’s first smile, how amazing it feels to be smiled upon, how it melts your heart to watch them smile in their sleep, how reassuring it feels when they reach out to you whilst taking that first step, how their gurgle of laughter and shrieks of happiness are music to your ears. Trust me, a heavy paycheck is a small price to pay for these joys.

Do you remember how just being around your mother used to envelope you in a sense of security?? Wouldn’t you want that for your own child?? I totally understand how overwhelming it can be to all of sudden being in charge of another life. No amount of babysitting that you may have done or having a pet will ever prepare you for motherhood. It is more than a full time job. Like I always love to say….Motherhood is the highest paid full-time-job , coz its wages are pure love…:))
One should not have a child if one is not ready to fully fold them into one’s life. And if you have decided to have a child, then please know that, you need to prioritize your life right away. Ignoring your priorities don’t make them go away. The child obviously goes on top of the list and everything else needlessly takes a backseat. That’s how it should be. It is your child. You gave birth to it. You did not order it online from ebay. They are alive and they feel, even when they are inside your womb. They are amazing little people who just want to be loved and taken care of. In return they will fill your life with so much unconditional love that everything else will pale in comparison to their undying affection for you. Get to know your children before its too late, because they are not gonna keep loving you unconditionally forever. One day they will just stop. Be there for them when they need you, not when you have the time or when it is convenient for you. They are not going to be dependant on you forever. One day when you have all the time in the world and want to be with them, they would have left the nest. Hold on to your kids!!



P.S…working mothers please don’t throw stones at me. I completely understand that some mothers cant afford the luxury of sitting at home and raising their kids. They have to leave the house to keep the fire running in the house. I totally salute them for being so brave. I can only imagine the kind of grit and determination it takes to leave your children and go, everyday…day after day. Peace out!!

AN ODE TO THE MEN IN MY LIFE…..

The  MEN  needed   a  strong  ally  to  give  meaning  to  their  existence. Hence  god  created  WOMEN!!. 

I  am  a  woman.  My  essence  lies  in  my  ability  to  selflessly  care,  love  and  sacrifice  for  the  other.  My  primary  job  is  to  provide  emotional  support  to  another   person. I  am  a  master  at  multiple  role-plays,  which  is  evident  when  I  play  an  all  enveloping  character  of  a  mother,  daughter,  wife,  sister,  friend,  nurturer,  guide  and  partner.  I  am  emotional  and  vulnerable.  I  am  sometimes  erratic   and  sometimes  serene.  I  display  a  wonderful  range  of  emotions  from  being  patient  to  being  extremely  courageous  in  times  of  crisis.  I  can  be   meek  and  submissive  and  purr  like  a   tamed  cat.  I  can  also  turn  into  a  growling  and  aggressive  wild  cat  when  my  buttons  have  been  pushed  too  far.  Tell  me  something  is  forbidden  and  it  becomes  appealing,  almost  instantly.

A  woman  needs  a  man  like  a  fish  needs  a  bicycle…….

How  many  of  us  actually  fool  ourselves   with  such  delusional  statements!!...”Behind  every successful  man,  there  is  a  woman”….that  has  been  done  to  death.  How  many  times  have  you  actually  heard…”Behind  every  successful  women,  there  is  a  man”…rarely…almost  never.  I  find  this  a  little  difficult  to  digest,  A  man  needs  a  woman  to excel  and  a  woman  doesn’t???...How  in  gods  name  is  that  possible??...is  it  because   we  like  to  pretend  that  we  can  do  it  all by  ourselves??

I  have  been  raised  in  a  house  full  of  boys.  I  currently  live  in  a  house  full  of  boys. Hence  I  have  no  qualms  in  stating  that  I  am  what  I  am  today,  coz  of  the  men  folk  in  my  life.  The  first  being  my  father,  my  papa…who  toiled  day  and  night  to  give   me  and  my  brothers   a  wonderful  life.  I  grew  up  to  be  headstrong  and  stubborn,  like  him.  My  childhood  memories  never  fail  to  make  me  smile. My  brothers  and  my  cousins (  all  boys,  mind   you…)  ensured  that  I  had  the  most  wonderful  childhood.  I  grew  up  to  be  bold  and  fearless  in  their  company. My  husband,   I  have  spent  nearly  half  my  lifetime  with  him.  I  will  always  be  grateful  to  him,  for  not  clipping  my  wings  and  instead  being  the  wind  beneath  it  and  helping  me  soar  higher   and  scale  new  heights. I  matured  into  a  confident   lady  in  his  circle  of  love.  My  sons,  who  gave  me  the  honour  of  being  a  mother  and  helping  me  discover  a  new  ‘me’. They   taught  me  patience  and  selflessness. My  friends  who  imbibed  their  faith  in  me  and  never  judged  me  and  accepted me  as  I  am.

I   am  what  I  am  coz  of  the  wonderful  MEN  in  my  life. They  complete  me .

So,  if  you  like  this  woman,  plzz  put  your  hands  together  for  the  various  MEN  behind  her…:))

with  my  bros...:))

Papa's  gal!!

 A  TOAST  TO  US….

I  would  like  to  make  a  toast  to  lying,  stealing,  cheating  and  drinking.  If  you  are  going  to  lie,  lie  for  a  friend.  If  you  are  going  to  steal,  steal  a  heart.  If  you  are  going  to  cheat,  cheat  death.  And  if  you  are  going  to  drink,  drink  with   me…:))

( errrr….lemme  warn  you,  I’m  a  boring  teetotaler)

My  two  and  a  half  men

P.S….Nature  has  given  women  so  much  power,  that  the  law  just  cannot  afford  to  give  her  more…:D                                                                                                                           

FRIENDS FOREVER!!!

“You  find  out  who your  true  friends  are  when  you  are  involved  in  a  scandal”

                                                                                        …..Elizabeth  Taylor

The  lady  couldn’t  have  nailed  it  better.  It  does  not  matter  as  to  who  came  first  in  your  life  or  who  cared the  most.  What eventually  does  matter  in  the  long  run  is,  who  came  and  never  left,  especially  when  you  needed  them  the  most.

It’s  not  a  cowards  job  to  be  a  friend.  It   takes  a  lot  of  guts  to  stand  by  your  friends  when  they  are   going   through   deep  shit. Not  easy….but  definitely  worth it.  And  only  the  brave  choose  to  do  it…the  rest,  like  Rats  abandon  ship. 

A  Best  friend  is  said  to  be  like  a  four  leaf  clover,  hard  to  find  and  lucky  to  have.  Trust  me  the  clover’s   are  easier  to  find.

Our  lives  are  crammed  with    life-changing  encounters, that  eventually  adds  up  in  building  our  character  and  defining  our  persona. . I  believe,  these  are  challenges  that  life  throws  at  us.  How  we  handle  these  challenges  and  emerge  out  of  it  largely   contributes  to  the  kind  of  person  we  eventually  become. 

I recently  faced  a  similar  challenge,  that  did  leave  me  a  bit  shattered  and  numb  for  some  time.  Someone  I  knew  (wouldn’t   call  her  a friend, coz  she  never  was  actually) turned   on  me  and  she  used   a  popular  social  networking   website  to unleash   her  fury  and  spew  venom. She   abused  me  on  the  wall  of  a  group  that  we  both  belonged  to.  And  the  woman  could  really  abuse.  I  mean  the  real  raised-in-the-slum-kind.  She  took   the  term  ‘foul-mouthed’  to  totally  new  heights.  However   much  they  try,  class  and  taste  just  elude  some  people!!

  What  came  as  a  shocker  was  not  her  choice  of  words  but  the  ‘calculated  silence’  of  some  of  my  so-called  friends.  Some  acted  as  if  nothing  happened,  while  some  decided  to  lie  down  n  play  dead. They   actually  chose  to  ride  the  fence  than,  stand  up  for  me.  That  hurt!!...Deeply!!..

Friends  Forever!!!...Yeah   right!!!....Till  a  fight   does  us  apart!!!

Now  I  see  the  humour  in  it…then  I  was  very  angry  and  shaken…To  me  my  friends  are  serious  business.  They  are  my  extended  family  and  not  something  that  i  rely  on  for  entertaining  myself    when  I  get  bored.  But  even  that  dark  cloud  had  a  silver  lining.  This  stinky  incident  acted  like  a  sieve  through  the  clutter  of  people  in  my  life  and  gave  me  my  True  Friends….Shiny  n  New….:)).  They  are  a  fistful ,  but  they  are  for  real.  I  know  I  just  have  to  holler  and  they  gonna  be  there  for  me…always…unconditionally!!

Kri.,.Sow n Me

As  for  all  my  fake  friends, I  have  just  made  myself  unavailable  to  most  of  them,  coz  I  don’t  exactly  live  by  the  phrase  ‘fake  it,  till  u  make  it’. God  should   actually  put  sign-posts   along  the  roads  of  life,  the  ones  that  say  “Tread   carefully,  fake  friends  ahead”.

Having  a  true  friend,  the  forever  kind  is  a  blessing,  but  comes   for  a  price. To  have  a  friend  you  need   to  be  one  too.  It’s   a two-way  street.   Some  times  a  mere  hug,  or  to  have  someone  hold  your  hands  really helps  and  goes  a  long  way  in reducing  the emotional   built-up  and  relieving  the  stress,  at  the  end  of  the  day.  Don’t  we  all,  at  some  point  in  life  yearn   for   someone  to just  hug  us  and  assure  us  that  ‘Tomorrow  will   be  a  better  day’??.  Be  like  the  tree,  with  a   trunk   strong  enough   for  your  friends  to  lean  on  when  they  are  too  weak  to  stand  up  on  their  own…with  huge,   leafy  branches  to  shade  and  protect  them  from  life’s   blinding  sun. 

I  quote  Oprah  Winfrey…” Lots  of  people  want  to  ride  with  you  in  the  limo,  but  what  you  want  is  someone  who  will  take  the  bus  with  you  when  the  limo  breaks  down”

I  have  found  my  bus-mates.  Have you??

CHILDHOOD   MATES!!

Me, Prita, Pinky n Chinu...:))

I  recently   bumped   into  a cupla  childhood  mates  of  mine.  We  had  kinda  lost  touch.  But  when  we  reconnected   it  was  as  if  we  had  never  been  outta  touch   and  we  just  took  off   from  where  we  had  left .  It   was  so  rejuvenating,  re-living  all  those  old  memories  with  them,  and  recreating  new  ones.  Chinu,  prita,  pinks…its awesum  to  have  you  guys  back  in  my  life…:))

with  Maya

P .S….. My   Kit-Kat  tells  me,  she  may  not  be  wid  me  to share  my joys, but  she’ll  always  be  beside  me  to  share  my  pain…that  just  warms  the  cockles  of  my  heart.  Kiu,   your  presence  don’t   need   to be  validated  by  pictures..you  know  you  are  there…always…:)).  Maya…how  will  I  ever  thank  you  for  all  the things  you  have  taught  me.  I  always  strive  to  make  you  proud  of  me!!

40 and beautiful!!

40 is often referred to as the beginning of the end or going down the hill. Really now!! Personally, Life couldn’t have been more on top of the hill, for me. I feel more secure ,more confident ,more happier, more sexier, more everything. The brats have grown up, curbing down the crazy mayhem that involves raising 2 kids ( and god help you if both are boys). The relationship has grown up, has matured…Ripened is the word I would coin for it. The ups and downs are more familiar and feel less alien. C’mon!!, now is the time to sit back and enjoy the journey…:)

Actress-Director Suhasini Maniratnam once famously said “ Life for an Indian woman begins at 40”. Totally with her on this. At 40 Life for me is all about ‘ moi’. Earlier hubby, kids, family ,home hogged a major share of my life’s pie-chart. There was hardly any left for me. Now it’s just me, me and me. Selfish??...mebbe!!..Being a woman, and a Indian woman at that, i will never cease to be a daughter, wife, mother n a sister (don’t want to either). I just don’t want to be defined only by a relationship anymore. There is so much more to me than what can be defined by a relationship. There is so much about me that I , myself have to discover yet, that sometimes I feel one lifetime isn’t enough. So what, if I don’t have a career and don’t earn my own money. Don’t i deserve my own identity??. Is it taboo for me to even want to establish my own identity??...I don’t think so.

I had stopped noticing a lot of things about myself because of the constant changes that seemed to engulf my existence . My different roleplays left me emotionally drained-out. So i find it really weird at times that I have actually managed to discover my ability to look beyond the mundane in my life. To reach out , seek and find happiness within me.

Nowadays you get to hear a lot of ’40 is the new 30’ or ’40 is the new 20’ . what the heck!!!. Why does 40 have to be anything other than 40?? I don’t want to be the new 20 or the new 30. I am 41..PERIOD!! How insecure one ought to be to hide behind the new-20 n new-30 label. It’s a crime to even compare 40 to a 30 or a disastrous-20. Unlike the 20’s I feel so much at home in my own skin. I have learnt to respect my body, have become more aware of its needs and less conscious of what the world and its cousins think of it. The result: a more confident and a stronger me!!. Unlike the 30’s, I have learnt not to give up easily and to fight people, things and situations that threaten to bring me down. Where would we be if we gave up easily!!

I most certainly would love to have a tete-a-tete with the clueless-halfwit who said woman of 40 are dried-up and drifting. I definitely am not dried-up and wont be drifting anywhere soon, rest assured. My hormones maybe going bonkers at 40, but I’ve never had it betta than this!!.

Believe you me , there is nothing more beautiful in this world than a woman who knows where she is going. Ladies and gentleman, sit up and take notice…The woman of 40 have arrived!!!

P.S...thts me up there on the day i turned sweet 40...:))